Teens: Listen Up!
Friday, October 1, 2010 at 01:46PM When Kate’s Club started in 2003, I chose to offer the program only to youth 10 and up. There were several purposeful reasons for this decision; it’s more often that programs like these start with the younger kids and “grow-up” with them. But I felt differently. Most importantly was that when I suffered the greatest loss of my life to date, the death of my mom, I was just 12 years old. I knew what it felt like to face adversity during those adolescent years, and more so face the stigma of being different amongst my peers. I also knew that a powerful remedy for teens facing grief and adversity was to bring them together with other teens who shared in this experience, so they could help each other.
This past week has brought a great bit of sadness to me and our country because we have seen an increase in media stories about teens committing suicide. These stories have covered various reasons for such tragic action by teens, however one red string threads through them all: these teens were all targeted and bullied because they fell into the cultural paradigm of our youth that being different somehow means being “less than."
So I'm writing this blog for ALL teens: listen up...Any life experience which makes us different, really makes us all the same, because life is about the journey of experiences: good and BAD.
I recently read that suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst teenagers, according to the CDC. This is astonishing to me and extremely sad. To see how much joy has come into my life following my teen years as a direct result from what I struggled with during that time, I just can't imagine not having waited to experience this life of mine. I just want to shout at the top of buildings: “You are not alone. You can get through this. It gets better. You have so much life to live.” But I can’t do that.
What I can do is offer a remedy to teens out there who are facing adversity, be it for your size and appearance, or a particular interest or experience, be it your gender, sexuality, or ethnicity. I am going to tell you what I did, and what ultimately helped me connect to hope and happiness in spite of losing my mom, and being different all those years in high school.
GO VOLUNTEER. GIVE BACK. REACH OUT AND HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
Here is the thing: You all are a generation who identifies more with profiles than with people and well this is starting to hurt you all socially, mentally and emotionally. See, there are things about human interaction that can’t be replaced by Facebook or YouTube, even though they certainly make it more convenient to be social. Such things as empathy, compassion, and altruism will never be experienced by “liking” a page or “sharing” a video. And these traits are vital to building up courage and integrity, as well as tolerance and acceptance of others. I worry about you all because you misinterpret social media as a means to socialization, and it just doesn’t translate 100%.
Look, I know adolescence is a time we wish we could just bury our bad days and unique ways, and Facebook and texting definitely allows us to do that, but you will never connect to those who are similar to you in your struggles, and appreciate those who have different ones...and this connection is crucial.
Trust me, in founding Kate's Club, I know just how much helping others will help you find a purpose and acceptance within yourself and amongst others that will diminish any effort towards making you feel “less than.”
And to the bullies out there, I ask you this question: Why spend energy on bringing someone down? Honestly, that is such a victim approach to feeling better about yourself, a short-term fix for whatever struggle you are dealing with in your own life. The survivor in you should reach out and spend that energy on building someone up. You may just build yourself up too.
I see it so often with you guys and gals. If you are given the opportunity to help, you step up and you are better for it. We just need more of it going around. It's time for you to start Living by Giving.
Check out these sites for some ideas and inspiration:
If you need some help finding a project, send me an email: kate@kateatwood.com
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