When I started Kate’s Club at 22, most of my peers hadn’t experienced grief—or at least, it didn’t seem that way in my immediate surroundings. It was through founding the organization that I realized I wasn’t as alone as I thought. There were others who had walked a life like mine—a little lost, a little confused—because they deeply understood the weight of what they were going through. Yet, they lived in a world that didn’t offer the support or understanding their experience so desperately needed.
For far too long, grief in our society has been deflected, shunned, and treated like an unwelcome guest—something to be avoided or hidden rather than acknowledged and embraced. Kate’s Club was born out of a simple yet profound idea: this had to change.
Today, 22 years later, it’s a regular occurrence for me to hear from a friend or acquaintance who has lost someone. In our forties, it’s becoming increasingly common that our peers are dying. The word grief feels like it’s everywhere now, woven into conversations and headlines. But is this a zeitgeist moment for this elusive experience? Or are we still dancing around it—skimming its surface—without fully recognizing its significance?
What is Grief, Really?
Grief is an emotional response to change or loss in our lives—whether that change is within our control or not. I often narrow it down to the moment when our light emotions shift, becoming heavy. It might arrive quietly in an everyday moment or hit as intensely as the loss of a loved one. While we often think of grief as tied exclusively to the big circle of life and death, I see it as something that also occurs in the little circles throughout our lives.
To me, grief is a passageway. It’s one of life’s greatest teachers—if we choose to see it that way.
Acknowledging Grief: The First Step
To begin to see grief as a teacher, we must first give it proper acknowledgment. This means becoming aware of it and considerate of it when it arrives at our heart’s doorstep. Only then can we begin to take the steps necessary to move through grief in a healthy way.
Here’s the good news: when you choose to move through grief, your life will change. And trust me—it will change for the better.
This post marks the beginning of a series exploring The CIRCLE framework—a new way to approach grief, loss, and change.
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